My theory: Owed to dependence on technological advances, less demand for physical labor among whiteys, and increased pussification, there has been an accelerated decline in ball size correlated by generation during the 20th and 21st centuries. That is, the Greatest Generation (huge balls)... Baby Boomers (regular size, Goldilocks size)... Generation X (smaller, including mine)... Millennials (tiny balls).*
Anyway, I never would have guessed 569 was the style to get for that. Seen them in stores but the signs don’t say, “Extra ball room.” So how could you know? In fact, this is what the sign should look like at Kohl’s.
And it cannot be by coincidence that the number most associated with genitalia (69) is ascribed to these jeans.
*No offense Millennials. Keep in mind that my hypotheses are founded only on my unimpeachable ability to amuse myself, and I am full of shit.