Godzillaskin Mesocarp Fried Onion Surprise

Prep Time:  1 hour

Cook Time:  N/A

Yield:  a goodly sum

Serves:  1 to 5 persons

 

Ingredients

·   5 large ripe avocados*

·   1 can Kroger™ French Fried Onions (6 oz.)

·   lime juice

*Perfectly ripe avocados are a deep jasper green, with a Godzillaskin-like texture.

Tools

·   large mixing bowl

·   large spoon

·   6" long boning knife

·   supplementary fork

Directions

1)      Slice avocados hemispherically with boning knife.

2)      Remove and discard brown ball inside.

3)      Using large spoon, scoop mesocarp into large mixing bowl, creating two stubby canoes.

4)      Discard stubby canoes. (Godzilla's skin is inedible.)**

5)      Macerate avocados in large mixing bowl using large spoon, boning knife, and supplementary fork.

6)      Open 6-ounce can of Kroger™ French Fried Onions.

7)      Pour entire contents of can into smushed mesocarp.

8)      Recycle can, now void of all Kroger™ French Fried Onions.

9)      Using large spoon, mix ingredients while splashing in ample squirt of lime juice from one of those squeezy plastic limes.***

10)   Serve at room temperature with chips. Alternatively, consume from ice cream bowl with regular-sized spoon.****

**For presentation purposes, stubby canoes can be used as serving bowls.

***Cutting and squeezing lime juice from actual limes is an option, but that is too much trouble.

****Focus group testing suggested that Godzillaskin Mezocarp Fried Onion Surprise was more enjoyable when participants were high.